


To Make Them

by orphan_account



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, KAT-TUN (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-09
Updated: 2013-05-09
Packaged: 2017-12-10 16:23:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/788054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><img/><br/>Banner by Stormy<br/>Yamashita Tomohisa was fed up. Fed up with the way he had to tip toe around his friends Jin and Kame, always afraid to mention the other. He was tired of the way Jin tried to hide his depressive feelings, and annoyed at the way Kame continued as if nothing had happened. If they didn’t talk to each other soon, he would go insane! But of course, they refused to listen to him. His only option was <em>to make them</em>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Make Them

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was requested by a friend of mine. Other than that, our dear Yamapi is quite the hero of this story <3 Of course he had to be, being my ichiban <3  
> 

Jin’s POV

The music droned loudly in my ears, creating a slight headache, which I tried to ignore. The air inside this club was humid, smelling of sweat and alcohol. I drowned the last bit of my cocktail and smiled at the girl that had been dancing with me apologetically before excusing myself, fighting my way off the dance floor towards the bar, where I saw a familiar face waiting.

I plopped down on the bar stool next to Pi, ordering another drink. Pi looked up at me with a slight frown, studying my tired face.

“Well, birthday boy” he teased, patting my shoulder in a friendly way. “You don’t look as hyper as you did when we started to party earlier. What’s on your mind?”

“Nothing” I lied, nodding at the bar tender as he handed me a new drink. “Just tired. Maybe a jet leg?”

Pi raised an eyebrow at me in doubt, but I ignored him, playing with the decoration of my drink. Only that it was hard to ignore Pi – he had a way of pinning you down and pointing out the problems you’ve been trying to run away from, making you face them. That’s why I sometimes avoided seeing him when I was feeling shitty; on the other hand, it was also the reason why he was my best friend.

“Did any of the guys from KAT-TUN call?” Pi asked casually, as if he didn’t know exactly what’s been bothering me, and why I had been checking my phone throughout the whole night.

When it had been clear that I could make it back home to Tokyo for my birthday, I had sent a mail to all of my contacts, inviting them over to party here tonight with me. I couldn’t complain, really – a lot of people had dropped by, no matter how busy they were, even if some couldn’t stay for more than an hour or so. It had been fun, really, seeing everyone again, fooling around.

Nevertheless, some people were missing, and it was painfully obvious to me that they were. Not that I had expected anything else. It’s not like we had been in contact recently, after all. Why should they have shown up?

It had just been easier to ignore their absence while I was overseas than when I was here now, in this town with so many memories that I connected with them.

“Nakamaru called” I finally answered Pi, taking a sip of my drink. “He excused himself, saying that he was busy and that’s why he couldn’t come by tonight.”

“And the others?” Pi prodded, watching my face for any reaction. “Kame?”

I gulped when he said the name, pulling at my drink again. I only shook my head. Pi sighed, shaking his head.

“I know this is probably a stupid question, but have you ever tried calling him? Or anyone else from the band, that is?”

I didn’t answer. I didn’t need to – Pi knew the answer anyways. He rolled his eyes at me, his face carrying a stern look.

“Jin” he said slowly, his voice firm, determined. “I’m sick of it, I really am. I _know_ you. I know you are missing them. And if you won’t do anything against this fact soon, I’m gonna kick your ass. I’m serious.”

“Stop it” I murmured, my voice small.

“I won’t” he clarified. “Each and every time I only mention their name, or really the name of anyone only slightly connected to them, which is not hard to be in an agency like ours, you crawl in on yourself like a turtle which has been poked, retreating to its house.” I flinched at the pun, but Pi didn’t notice. “You’re not hard to figure out, Jin, you’ve never been.” He paused for a moment, to see if I was about to return anything, but when I didn’t, he continued. “I don’t get what it is that happened between the six of you, but it can’t be anything irreparable, can it?”

“Then you don’t know them” I murmured darkly, finally speaking up.

“I’ve known Kame for almost as long as I know you” he scoffed. “And I’ve never known him to be _totally_ unreasonable. Actually, he’s more mature than you are. Most of the time, at least.”

“But he was the one who started it!” I protested, my voice defensive.

“Started what?” Pi asked, his voice patient.

“I don’t know myself” I murmured, pouting. “But he started it!”

“Well, _now_ I see your point!” Pi groaned, exasperated. “Thanks for enlightening me!”

“It’s not like there was a big fight or anything which made us not talk to each other anymore” I said slowly, my eyes focusing on the way the ice cubes in my drink moved when I played with my straw.”It was more like a steady process of growing apart, and him avoiding me, until I didn’t know how to talk to him anymore.”

“I still don’t get it!” Pi frowned.

“Me neither!” I groaned in frustration. “I think it started the first time I went to America. I mean, I was so close to Kame before I went, right?!”

“You were practically glued to each other!” Pi agreed.

“And then I came back, and he was all buddy-buddy with everyone else, and I kinda… felt left out” I concluded, sounding like a kid even in my own ears.

“Well, he had other friends” Pi said slowly, looking at me as if I had gone insane. “Is that a capital offense now?! Because if it is, I should watch my back from now on, because you will surely try to kill me!”

“No” I groaned, annoyed that he wasn’t taking me seriously. “It wasn’t only that! He just changed so much, into this all serious leader type, and I didn’t know how to deal with it, really.”

“Well, Kame had to lead the band all by himself when you were gone” Pi shrugged. “Isn’t that expected to change him? Be thankful that he had your back all the time!”

“Are you my friend, or his?!” I challenged, offended that he was taking Kame’s side in this.

“You are both my friends!” Pi clarified. “You just sometimes tend to have a very bad self-awareness, that’s why I’m telling you this. Besides, you changed as well, in your time in the US.”

“I didn’t!” I protested.

“You did!” he chuckled. “It’s only natural, Jin! We grow older, we experience new things… That’s the way things go, it’s not necessarily a bad thing! One can still maintain friendships through that!”

“Well, it’s hard when one of the parties has a broom stick down his…” I murmured, not finishing the insult. Pi caught it anyways, grinning.

“So Kame was a little too much into work” he nodded. “And you were a little too much into parties. So what? You clashed.”

I shrugged, agreeing slightly.

“And then?” Pi prodded.

“We kind of grew apart” I said slowly. “Sometimes we snapped at each other and then… we kinda stopped talking at all, if it wasn’t work related. And then I went to America, and I haven’t seen him since. End of story.” I said firmly, already having enough of this topic.

“Cut it out” Pi groaned. “Have you ever talked to him about how you were feeling? That you were maybe sad that you lost a friend like him?”

“No” I shrugged.

“Well, maybe you should have” Pi frowned. “That’s the way you usually work things out. Not by just leaving the country and letting people know through television.”

I rolled my eyes at him. Did he always have to bring that point up?!

“Kame wouldn’t have understood if I had told him about my plans” I returned. “So what would have been the point in telling him?”

“Because that is what you do, Jin” Pi sighed, shaking his head. “Sometimes, you remind me of a five-year-old. I know you don’t mean any harm, but you keep on doing unreasonable things, tearing down everything around you!”

“Well, that’s the way things are!” I groaned, glaring at him. “No way to change it now. So let it drop!”

“But you’re not happy with the way things are, are you?!” he continued. “So why don’t you at least try to change them?!”

“Because I’m no good at that!” I groaned, getting up, ready to return to the dance floor. “I’m going to live either way, okay?!”

With that, I took off into the mass of dancing people, ignoring Pi as he stared after me with angry eyes.

Kame’s POV

I had wondered at it when Tomo had suddenly called me this afternoon, asking us over to his flat. When I had asked him why, he hadn’t answered; he just made me promise that I would come, and that I would bring the rest of KAT-TUN along.

All afternoon, I had pondered what could have been that important for Tomo to demand us over to him. I considered worst-case scenarios, all having to do with someone’s reputation being lost or whatever, but nothing really made sense.

I wasn’t the only one who was wondering at it.

“What does Yamashita want, you think?” Ueda had asked in the break of our rehearsals, taking a sip from his water bottle.

“Do you really think he needs a reason to call us over?!” Koki joked. “This is Yamapi – he’ll call you in the middle of the night, being drunk and asking for company!”

“But he wasn’t drunk now!” I reminded him. “And it seemed important, somehow. I don’t know…”

“Maybe he wants to join KAT-TUN” Taguchi joked. “I mean, he’s half been part of the band since I can remember, being so close to Jin and all. And now that a place is free…”

I ignored him, and the bitter taste in my throat that had come up at his mention of Akanishi. As always, I pushed the thought of him away.

“Maybe it’s got something to do with Jin” Yuichi murmured thoughtfully. “As far as I’ve heard, he is in town.”

“We all got the email” Ueda groaned in annoyance. “No need to remind us.”

“It’s got nothing to do with Akanishi” I said firmly, and everyone threw me a short look at my harsh tone. I clenched my jaw, trying to not let my anger show. “Anyways, let’s continue rehearsing.”

The possibility that Yuichi was right was haunting me all throughout the rest of the day. If that were really the case, I would throw Tomo out of his own window, that much was for sure.

I was in no mood for any small talk with _that guy_. Not now, and not in a million years.

When we had finally made it over to Tomo’s apartment, he seemed pretty cheerful. He opened the door, ushering us inside, offering us beer. I frowned as I accepted one.

“So, what is it?” I asked him suspiciously. “It seemed really important…”

“What? No” Tomo chuckled, though he was not looking at me directly. “I just wanted to see you guys, you know, to chat!”

“Told you so” Koki scoffed, but I raised an eyebrow at Tomo, not really believing him. He was way too nervous to just having invited us for a nice chat.

However, before I could question him any further, the doorbell rang, and Tomo turned around hastily.

“Did you invite someone else?” I asked with a frown, and he only nodded before disappearing to open the door.

I exchanged a quite look with Yuichi, realization dawning on me.

This was NOT happening, was it?!

Jin’s POV

Pi seemed out of breath when he opened the door.

“Hey” he said quietly, ushering me inside.

“Why did you call me over?” I asked, expecting it to be at least an apology for last night. Though I was in no real mood to talk about this now – I had kind of hoped we could just let it drop and not talk about it again.

“You’re gonna see” Pi murmured, forcefully grabbing my arm and dragging me after him.

“What-?!” I began, letting him drag me into the kitchen, where I froze in my tracks.

I front of us stood all of my ex-band mates, looking at me as if they were seeing a ghost. Nakamaru looked like he had expected to see me here, seeming tortured by the situation, looking at the other four in fear.

My eyes traveled to Kame. He was not looking at me. He was hissing, staring at Pi’s kitchen table as if the object of offense was located there, his face torn between bitter amusement and suppressed rage.

I gulped, looking back at Pi in shock.

“Okay, you were right, I called all of you here for a reason!” Pi said slowly, looking into the round with determination. “I figured you needed to talk. All of you. And that you wouldn’t do it on your own. So I thought I’d make you.”

“And how are you planning to do that?” Kame asked, his voice dangerously sweet, like pure poison.

“Very easy” Pi said, reaching into his jeans pocket and drawing out his keys. He wiggled them in front of our eyes demonstratively. “I’m gonna leave the flat now, locking it, and I won’t let you out until you sorted things out.”

“You wouldn’t dare” Kame threatened, glaring at him.

“Watch me” Pi shrugged, before turning around in a blink of an eye and running towards the door as fast as he could. It took me a few seconds before I could react, running after him, but he was already outside, closing the door behind him, locking it just in time before I could pull at the door knob.

“Yamashita Tomohisa!” I called desperately, banging at the door. “Don’t do that to me! Let me out of here!”

“No!” I heard Pi’s muffled voice through the door. “You talk to the others first, then I’ll maybe think about it!”

“I hate you!” I whined, hitting my fist against the door a last time.

“Technically, I’m doing you a favor” I heard Pi say. “You’ll come to realize that soon enough!”

“Yeah, say that again when I’m dead…” I murmured, sighing, leaning my forehead against the wooden door.

This could not be happening. It had to be a nightmare or something. I was stepped in the back by my best friend.

I bit my lip as I turned around, very slowly walking back into the kitchen. I glanced into the round nervously, standing in the doorway, not daring to walk closer.

Nakamaru caught my eyes, attempting for a comforting smile, but it came out like a grimace. He had been the only one I had kept contact with all this time. I felt a little sorry for him now, being caught between the sides like this.

Koki was leaning against the kitchen counter, arms crossed in front of his chest, staring off into space. He looked annoyed, just as Ueda, who was studying his fingernails. Taguchi seemed merely tired, looking at me as if he wasn’t sure if he wanted me here right now.

Worst was Kame, though. He was standing next to Nakamaru, having put on a mask of sarcasm to hide his outrage. He was sipping at his beer, smiling bitterly to himself.

I didn’t know what to do or say. I was suddenly confronted with everything I had been trying to run away from, and I didn’t know how to deal with it. It was just too much.

Therefore, all that came tumbling out of my mouth was a lame: “Long time no see.”

Nakamaru closed his eyes and sighed, as if cursing my stupidity. Kame chuckled without humor in return.

“Now that’s rich” he said, his voice dripping of venom. “But you’ve never been that good with words, have you? Or with human beings, for that matter.”

I glared at him. This _Nothing-matters-to-me_ behavior of his was beginning to tick me off.

“Says the right one!” I shot back. “All you ever cared about was work, after all, not your friends!”

“Excuse me?!” Kame gasped, looking at me incredulous. “ _I’m_ talking to my friends about important matters. _I_ don’t decide everything on my own, letting my friends hear about my personal matters from the media. Or band matters, in your case.”

“As if you would have cared” I shouted at him, defending myself. “You’ve been shutting me out for ages, Kame! All you would have done is be mad at me for leaving the band!”

“Yeah, I would have!” Kame finally shouted, letting every bit of façade drop for me to see his anger as he put down the beer he had been holding on Pi’s kitchen table forcefully, making it swap over. “Because you, Jin, are an egoistic ass who couldn’t care less about what he does to others with his behavior!”

“Kame” Nakamaru murmured, his voice warning, but Kame ignored him.

“That’s not true!” I yelled, my voice turning a little higher with the emotions. “I always cared! You were the one who shut me out after I returned from the US!”

“That’s so not true!” Kame returned, taking a step closer to me, pointing a finger at me. “Don’t try to push the blame on me, here! All you cared about after coming back from the US were parties and _your so much cooler new American friends_!”

“You were the one who only cared about work and nothing else!” I shot back angrily, and I felt how I started to lose control over my words slowly. “You are only mad because I left your stupid band and you can’t deal with it!”

“Watch it, Akanishi!” Koki interrupted us, his tone dangerous. “This _stupid band_ got you to where you are now!”

“Exactly!” Kame spat. “You would be nowhere without us, but you started to become all arrogant and thought that the whole world revolved around you! Well, guess what?! IT DOESN’T!” he yelled, his voice becoming louder with each word. “We are just as successful without you as we were with you! Suck that, princess!”

“Then why are you complaining?!” I returned, my voice shaking slightly with the emotions. “You always gave me the feeling that I was holding you back somehow! Now I’m gone! Be happy!”

“I AM!” Kame yelled. “It was about time that I don’t have to clean up your shit anymore!”

“You’re just jealous!” I called, not knowing how to defend myself other than insulting him. “Because I made it in America, and I became bigger than KAT-TUN will ever be! Of course you need to hate me, so you won’t feel like such a loser!”

I could see how something inside of Kame snapped at my words, and he moved to jump me, but Nakamaru was faster, grabbing him at the shoulders to hold him back. Kame struggled, and he held on tighter, as if hugging him close, to keep him from moving towards me.

“Kame, STOP IT!” Nakamaru said firmly.

“LET GO OF ME!” Kame groaned, pulling at the arms holding him back. “I’m gonna KILL HIM!”

“Let him, Nakamaru, I wanna see him try!” I spat. “As ridiculous as he looked in One Pound Gospel, it might give me a good laugh!”

Koki got up from his position against the kitchen counter at this, grabbing me by the collar.

“Watch your mouth, Akanishi!” he threatened, glaring at me.

“Don’t act as if your oh-so-much-stronger than me!” Kame yelled, still struggling against Nakamaru’s grip. “Who was the one who was clinging to me like a giant squid when we started to film Gokusen?! Who was two years older than me and still didn’t dare to talk to anyone when I wasn’t around?!”

A flash of rage and betrayal rushed through me at his words, and I moved to pass Koki to give Kame a good blow in the face for it, but he held me back. I felt another pair of hands grabbing me tightly soon, and only realized that it was Ueda when Taguchi stepped in our middle, hands stretched out towards both Kame and me, palms up to signal us to stop.

“Guys, really!” he called desperately. “This is not gonna solve anything! Can’t we talk quietly?!”

“No!” Kame yelled, trying to tear himself free from Nakamaru. “You can’t talk with someone like him! He’s got the brain of a five year old!”

“Yeah, you’d be someone to hit a five year old because _he came late for rehearsals_ or shit like this!” I yelled back.

“Akanishi, stop it!” Koki groaned, tightening his grip around me. “We can be glad to have Kame as the leader of the band, okay?! We’d never be where we are without him?!”

“Which is where?! At the same level as Kanjani8, as some stupid toy of Johnny?!” I returned.

Koki froze, glaring at me with a look as dangerous as I had never seen it on him before.

“That’s it, enough is enough!” he yelled, before I felt his fist collide with my cheekbone.

From then on, everything was one huge chaos. I heard Taguchi call Koki’s name, before Ueda let go of me to hold back Koki. In the whole shock, Kame seemed to have managed to free himself from Nakamaru, tackling me so that I fell to the floor. Before I could even struggle, Kame was straddling me, and his fist made contact with my face several times, making me lose orientation for a moment.

I heard Taguchi call for Pi’s help when Nakamaru held onto Kame’s arm, stopping him from hitting me further. I used the chance to roll us around, now topping Kame myself as I finally gave him a blow in return. Nakamaru tried to grab me too, but I was too strong for him, continuing for another blow into Kame’s smooth face.

I hadn’t heard the door opening, but soon I felt Pi grabbing me and managing with the help of Nakamaru to lift me off Kame. Then he stood in between us, yelling: “STOP IT! ALL OF YOU!”

Pi’s voice was like a slap into my face, and I froze, finally realizing what I was doing. Koki stopped struggling against Ueda too, and Kame sat up, glaring into my direction, panting. His face had red bruises where I had hit him.

“What has gotten into you?!” Pi called incredulous, looking from me to Kame. “You’ve been best friends at some point, practically inseparable! And now I need to pull you apart to stop you from killing each other?! Come to your senses!!”

“I know _exactly_ what I’m doing!” Kame hissed.

“I called you here to make up!” Pi told him desperately.

“You don’t expect me to be friends again with someone like him, do you?!” Kame returned, his voice high pitched, cutting right through me like a laser pointer. “Why would I ever be that masochistic?!”

“Kame-“ Pi began, but Kame didn’t let him speak, continuing himself.

“He’s arrogant, egoistic, immature, and you can’t depend on him AT ALL! There you think everything is going great, and you are best friends, and then he suddenly leaves you alone to leave the country for stupid America! And then he comes back even more immature than he was before, with all those American friends that are so much cooler than you, and he parties all the time, always coming to work with a hangover, trying to tear down everything you build up in his absence! And whenever you ask him to do something for you, to behave like a responsible human being, for example, he doesn’t – but when he asks you for something, you need to jump, because if you don’t, you are _ignoring him_ already! Because that’s the way he is, a spoiled little ass, everybody needs to pamper him! But I’m SICK OF IT! I’m THROUGH with him!”

I hadn’t known that I had tears in my eyes until they blurred my vision. When I had been blinded by rage, Kame’s words couldn’t hurt me that much – it had been like a shield. Now, every word hit me like a bomb, destroying something inside of me, and I felt like I was going to break down from the damage I had taken.

“Kame” Pi sighed, trying to reason with him. “Calm down, you are exaggerating – JIN!”

He called after me as I turned around to leave the flat, but I didn’t stop, just wanting to get out of there before the tears started to run down my face.

I heard Pi curse, and then he was after me, catching me by the stairs, pushing me to sit down.

“Jin” he said softly, putting an arm around my shoulders to comfort me, but I let out a soft sob and the tears were breaking free. “Jin, calm down, okay? Both of your emotions are running high now, and you’re both saying things you don’t mean…”

“He hates me” I whispered, sobs raking through my body. “They all hate me.”

“They don’t” Pi murmured. “They wouldn’t be that mad if they did. It means they still care.”

I heard some shouting from inside the flat, mostly consisting of Kame and Nakamaru, but I couldn’t bring myself to listen for details.

“Kame treats me like I’m scum” I whispered, burying my face in my hands. “He does hate me. You just heard him.”

“I just think he’s really hurt by what you did” Pi said quietly. “I mean, you just took off without telling him about it, like he doesn’t deserve to hear it from you. No matter how complicated things already were by then, you should have talked to him!”

“I couldn’t. He would have told me not to go, and I’d have felt bad going!” I said, my voice shaking.

“And now you feel that much better?!” Pi scoffed. “I don’t get you two, really – you are so alike that it hurts to watch sometimes! You remember how you complained to me that he was all _buddy-buddy_ with everyone when you came back from the US?! Didn’t he just complain that you were all into your American friends when you returned, forgetting him?! It’s like you are a jealous couple or something – all clingy and possessive of the other, and when you can’t have the other for yourself, you fight over trivial things like work ethics or partying, making a huge deal out of it until you drift so far apart that you can’t relate to the other at all! Have you ever tried seeing his side?!”

“He never saw mine, either!” I protested, high-pitched.

“Like I just said, you are so much alike, it’s ridiculous!” Pi sighed. “If you would just calm down and talk… I mean, really talk, not yell… then maybe you could work things out. I don’t know how to say it, but this world is just not right when Akanishi Jin and Kamenashi Kazuya are not talking! And I know you miss him, Jin, don’t try to deny it!”

For a moment, distant memories occupied my mind, making me sob even harder – Kame and me laughing together when we were younger, fooling around in our Junior days, having sleepovers and watching horror movies…

The door to Pi’s flat sprang open, and someone approached the stairs with fast angry steps. I heard Nakamaru call angrily: “Kame! Wait, will you?!”, before Kame turned up around the corner, stepping around us where we were still sitting on the stairs, hurrying downstairs, away from us.

“Kame!” Pi called, sounding tired. “Can’t you just talk about this?!”

“There’s nothing to talk about!” Kame groaned, standing for a moment to look at him. “Ask Jin, he thinks he’s way better off without his Japanese loser friends as well!”

“That’s not true!” I spoke up, choking at my tears.

Kame looked up at me then for the first time, his eyes lingering on the tear strains on my cheeks. I wiped at them in embarrassment, before I whispered: “Can’t we talk? Please, Kame…”

Kame stood still, not moving as he stared at me. It was as if he had actually convinced himself that I was some kind of robot and was now shocked to see tears, wondering how the scientists had managed to create such a thing.

“Kame” Pi spoke up again, standing up from his position next to me. “Can’t you just get inside again and talk with him? Give him one more chance? I’ll grab the others and go for something to eat, to give you some room. I think it’s better if you talk alone then with the whole group.”

Kame bit his lip, looking at his shoes for a moment, contemplating what to do. Then he nodded hesitantly. Pi let out a sigh of relief.

“Thank god” he murmured, before grabbing my arm and pulling me up. “Okay, come on, let’s get inside again, we disturbed my neighbors enough for one night!”

I let Pi drag me back into the flat again, Kame following close behind us. It was also Pi who convinced the others to leave Kame and me alone to talk in peace. Koki looked like he wanted to protest, but then he noticed the tears in my eyes and stayed quiet.

Finally, they followed Pi outside, Koki and Ueda patting Kame on the back as they went, as if showing their support for him.

“Please try not to freak out again, okay?” Pi pleaded as he went. “Don’t kill each other, and don’t destroy my furniture in the process!”

“We’ll try” Kame murmured drily before Pi closed the door behind him.

 _Silence._ I looked up at Kame, seeing him leaning against the wall next to the door that connected the kitchen to the entrance area, as if wanting to stay close to it in case he decided to take off again. His arms were crossed in front of his chest, and he wasn’t looking at me. Instead he was studying Pi’s kitchen floor.

He seemed as different from the Kame that had been my best friend once as it could be. The tired, shut off look in his eyes, enveloped by a sadness that I couldn’t quite get a grasp of, though I knew that I shared it.

I missed the sparkle in those brown orbs, the way those full lips curved when he smiled, brightening up his whole being, and the room he was in with it. I missed the way he would tease me, the way he would listen whenever anything was wrong, the way he would stand up for me, the way he would just be _there_.

“Kame, what happened?” I asked quietly, choking slightly. “How did things turn out like this?”

“Don’t ask me” he murmured, his voice barely audible. “How would I know?!”

“You are the smart one out of the two of us” I whispered. “I’m the one who always fucks everything up, so if someone knows, it’s you!”

“Well, then you have your answer” Kame sighed heavily, looking up from the floor, but only to focus on the kitchen counter. “You fuck everything up. Period.”

“I’m sorry” I whispered, crossing my arms in front of my chest as well, but instead of Kame’s angry pose, it seemed more like a pathetic attempt to hug myself close to keep from falling apart.

“I guess that’s not enough” Kame murmured. “This whole thing is _too_ fucked up for a mere ‘sorry’.”

“Was I really that bad after I returned from the US in 2007?” I asked, trying to wrap my head around it. “I wasn’t aware… that I had changed. I never wanted to.”

“You did” Kame nodded, his face grim as he remembered. “You were just… I don’t know, you just seemed to think that you were better than us. You came back into the band and thought everything had to go your way, with all your new ideas and… it’s like you wanted all the spot light on you, and you didn’t listen to a word I said. It ticked me off.”

“I never thought I was better than you” I protested, shocked by his words. “I would never-“

“Don’t try to deny it, Jin!” Kame groaned, rolling his eyes. “Remember what you said earlier? About me and my _stupid band_ being jealous?!”

“I didn’t mean that” I murmured, blushing slightly. “I was mad, and I didn’t know what to say.”

“Well, but it fits you and your attitude” Kame shrugged. “Back then, when we met, and you were all shy and awkwardly nervous, I never thought that you could become that arrogant.”

“I’m sorry if I seemed that way” I murmured. “I guess I just… I wanted to brag about the US and what a great time I had back there because… because I felt left out when I returned” I confessed finally.

Kame frowned, finally looking up at me.

“What do you mean?” he asked, surprised.

“I don’t know, you just – you just seemed to have become such a firm group without me, and I didn’t know how to squeeze myself in there” I explained. “Maybe that’s why I tried to get your attention so desperately. To make you realize that I was still _there_!”

“I _knew_ you were there!” Kame protested. “You were always part of the band, Jin, no matter how long you were gone! But you didn’t act like _part of the band_ when you returned – you acted like we were your background dancers! Someone had to put you into place!”

“I didn’t want you to put me in place!” I returned, my voice getting a little higher with the desperation that I had suppressed all those years. “I wanted you to _talk to me_. I wanted you to be my friend again, not my boss!”

“I wanted to be!” Kame defended himself. “I wanted to, but then you decided to act like a mix between a needy toddler and a bitchy diva! It felt like you had no respect for what I built up with KAT-TUN while you were gone, and like you just wanted to overrule me and make everything yours! And when I refused to play the game, you became all stubborn and put on this _fuck-me_ attitude of yours, and I was scared you would tear the band down with this!”

“I never would have done that!” I ensured him. “KAT-TUN is too important to me to ever do that! No matter if I left the band or not, it’s still a part of me somehow!”

“Well, but you certainly didn’t act like it!” Kame shrugged, annoyed again. “Maybe if you sometimes _thought_ before you acted, things would not turn out like that! You’ve always been that way– naïve, immature, irresponsible… It felt like I had to always play the adult around you, while you were the rebellious teenager!”

I was silent for a moment, and Kame continued, his voice more tensed now.

“Maybe, if you would have just stopped complaining for _once_ , I could have reacted differently. But it was hard to be _your_ friend when you didn’t behave like _mine_ either.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, frowning.

“Well, did you for once tell me that you were _proud_ of what we had become?” he scoffed, looking into my eyes. “That we were doing a good job, or that you were glad to be back?! Seriously, I was happy when you returned!” he confessed, running his tongue over his lips. “I missed you in the band, but you never gave me the impression that you missed _us_! There you were back, and all you did was complain and tell us how great the US was! I thought you’d rather not have returned at all!”

“I never knew you felt like that” I whispered, shocked.

“Yeah, because you were too caught up in your own little world, building a wall around you which I couldn’t pull through! And yeah, maybe I could have tried harder, but after a while, I began to ask myself ‘What for?’.”

“I’m sorry” I murmured.

“And then you just took off to America without even telling us beforehand” he continued, as if he hadn’t heard me. “Do you know how that felt?!”

“I didn’t want to think about it” I murmured, embarrassed. “I was scared of fighting with you. So I took the easy way out.”

“But maybe we needed to fight” Kame sighed, looking troubled. “Because if we had fought earlier, we would have talked about all of this way sooner. Maybe we could have turned back to being friends…” he trailed off, staring into space.

“We can try now” I suggested, hopeful.

Kame sighed, looking much older than he was.

“I don’t know if it’s not too late for that” Kame whispered. “I feel like I don’t even know you anymore, Jin. We are not 18 anymore. Things have changed.”

“One can change and still maintain a friendship” I protested, unconsciously reciting Pi’s words. It felt hard to concentrate through the headache that had been building since I had stopped crying, and my cheek hurt where Kame and Koki had hit me.

“That may be right” Kame shrugged. “But I don’t know if it‘s possible for us…”

“Don’t say that!” I whispered, fear gripping around my heart, pressing down on it until I felt that I couldn’t breathe anymore.

“You have your life in America, Jin!” Kame groaned, shaking his head. “What do you need me for?!”

“America can’t replace you” I breathed, almost as if I was talking to myself. “It couldn’t in 2006, and it can’t now. Even if I wanted to make myself believe that it could.”

Kame sighed.

“Why do you even want to be friends with me?” he prodded. “I’m a hopeless workaholic, I’m stubborn, I obviously can’t express myself in any way that you can catch on to – you just told me about all of my bad treats. Why do you think things will work out any better now than they did all those years?”

“I don’t know” I whispered, and Kame raised his eyebrows at my response. “I don’t know” I repeated, stepping closer to him, until I was able to pull at the hem of his T-Shirt stupidly. “But I know that I missed you. I missed you, and I want you in my life. There is no why.”

Kame sighed, shaking his head.

“I think I should go” he murmured. “This is not taking us anywhere…”

“No!” I almost whined, well aware that I was begging now, but still not being able to help myself. I grabbed his T-Shirt even tighter before pleading: “I’m sorry, okay?! I’m sorry for the way I acted all these years. I’m sorry for leaving like that, I’m sorry for never talking to you, I’m sorry for _this_ -“ I reached my free hand out to trace the bruises on his cheekbone gently, and he hissed at the touch and squirmed away from it. “I’m just sorry!” I concluded desperately. “Please forgive me! Please don’t go!”

“This is not a matter of forgiving or not, Jin” he whispered, seeming out of breath suddenly.

“Then what is it about?!” I asked, looking into his eyes. He seemed to have no answer for that, looking away, and I became whiny. “Kame!” I pleaded, as if his name and my tone alone was enough to express what I wanted.

“Jin” he sighed, his voice tired and resistant at the same time.

“Kaaaaame!” I repeated, my tone more intense now.

“Jin!” he rolled his eyes, seeming torn.

“Kame!” I repeated again, insistent and frowning.

“This conversation is ridiculous!” he murmured, shaking his head. I stayed quiet, pouting. “I really should go” he insisted, pushing my hand away from his T-Shirt to move.

“No!” I said loudly, caging him with my hands against the wall, on both sides of his head.

Kame looked up at me, taken aback at my action. If possible, he even moved further against the wall in an attempt to put some space between us.

“What are you doing?!” he asked, slightly out of breath, his face flushed.

“Don’t go!” I insisted again. I wasn’t thinking anymore – all I knew was that it felt like if I let Kame go now, everything would end. I couldn’t let that happen.

Kame didn’t answer, and before I knew what I was doing, I was leaning in. My lips touched his, and I felt like something ignited inside of me – some kind of unreasonable passion, like a flame, too much for me to control.

First Kame’s lips were unmoving against mine, and his whole body was rigid, unresponsive. In a desperate attempt to awaken him, I caught his lower lip in between mine, nibbling on it. Kame gasped against my lips, and his resistance broke – before I knew it, he had pulled my hands away from the sides of his head, turning us around so he was pushing me against the wall, attacking my lips fiercely. One of his knees was pressed between mine, and his hands were on my hips, holding me in place as our lips moved clumsily against each other.

I reached out one hand to clasp it in his brown locks, feeling the silky texture between my fingers, pushing his head even closer to me. Our lips crashed together, and Kame moaned, running his tongue over my lower lip. I opened up for him, letting him explore the inside of my mouth. Our tongues started to fight for dominance, but I soon surrendered to Kame, letting him control me. Another moan escaped my lips and my free hand found its way to his shoulders, clinging to the collar of his shirt.

When we finally came up for air, we were panting. I rested my forehead against his, taking in his scent, noticing my heartbeat speed up even more at it.

“What are we doing?!” Kame gasped, though he was not pulling away.

“I don’t know” I murmured, not wanting to think about it, afraid that he would stop if _he_ thought too much. So I pulled him into another kiss, if possible even more passionate than the first one, leaving me on the edge of something, forgetting the world around me.

Kame pulled at my shirt, and I tore my lips from his only for a moment to let him lift it over my head. He let it drop to the floor carelessly before he continued to kiss me, his hands roaming my torso. I shivered at the way he handled me, all rough but still not violently, exactly the way I wanted him now. His fingers ran over my collarbone and I let out a high-pitched sound, making him press down even harder to shut me up, biting down on my lip. I moaned and his hands traveled further south, fumbling with my nipples. They hardened under his touch, and I felt like losing my mind.

How came he was so good at this? Moreover, _why_ hadn’t we done this sooner?! It felt much better than all this fighting…

In a sudden try to regain control, I pushed Kame forward, backing him up against the kitchen table. Kame braced himself with his hands on the surface, accidentally knocking over a spare bottle of beer, making it roll to the floor, spilling its contents. However, we couldn’t care less right now, because I was kissing him again, my hands slipping under his T-Shirt, returning his ministrations. I felt his muscles tense under my touch, and it triggered me on.

Soon, his T-Shirt was gone as well, and we clung to each other, touching every bit of skin we could reach, trying to release our tension, but ending up only building it further.

Kame’s hands slit inside the back of my baggy pants, and my underwear, caressing the skin he found. I shuddered against him, breaking our kiss to run my tongue down his neck, sucking at the skin there until it turned red and bruised.

He pulled me closer, our naked chests touching, and I grinded my hips against his. We both moaned at the friction, but it was not enough, not nearly enough. I wanted, no, _needed_ more.

So I ran my hands down his chest until I found the waistband of his jeans, fumbling with the zipper. When I had finally managed to open it with my shaky fingers, I slipped them inside his boxer briefs, feeling his erection under my fingers. Kame moaned loudly. I pressed my thumb down on the head slightly, making him shiver before I began to pump him gently. He leaned his head against my shoulder, his breathing speeding up more and more with every touch of mine.

Soon, Kame’s hands found the front of my pants as well, opening them and letting them fall to the floor. He rubbed me through the cotton of my underwear, and I slightly bit the skin where his neck met his shoulder, not enough to actually hurt him, but to create more friction, and he shuddered in reaction.

He pulled at my underwear too, and I let go of him to let him strip me.

Kame turned us around again, kissing me harshly as I leaned against the table. It felt like every time he touched me, a shock of electricity went through my veins, and I didn’t know how to control myself anymore, or to keep myself from groaning out loudly when Kame touched my erection again. He silenced me with his lips, and I felt like I couldn’t take it anymore, like I could explode any minute.

At some point, Kame tore his lips away from mine, pressing two of his fingers against my lips, stroking slightly over them before pushing them inside. I opened my mouth without thinking, running my tongue over them, sucking on them. Kame was nibbling on the skin of my neck, still pumping me as he ran his tongue over my collarbone, making me shiver, and god, it was all too much…

Kame removed the fingers from my mouth, moving his hand down my back to my bottom. I felt him massaging my hole gently, and in surprise at the weird feeling, I opened my eyes and looking him deep in the eyes.

It felt like Kame’s brown orbs were burning in some kind of fire, and I couldn’t tear my eyes away from his anymore, letting him do as he pleased. He slowly entered one finger inside of me, and it just felt plain weird, and slightly uncomfortable. He moved the finger gently inside of me, being slow and careful, his eyes never leaving mine, and even though the situation was freaking me out, I felt _safe_. It was Kame, and he would get me through this sane, no matter what.

When the uncomfortable feeling began to lessen slightly, he inserted a second finger, scissoring them, spreading me even more. And slowly, it started to feel good. He found a spot inside of me that I didn’t know I possessed, and pleasure raced through me, making me moan.

Kame seemed to take this as a sign. He pulled his fingers out of me, kissing me once more before turning me around so that I was hovering over the kitchen table. I braced myself against the surface with my arms, knocking over some more bottles, but not really noticing it. Kame’s hands were on my hips, massaging the skin there as I felt the tip of him push against my hole. I gulped, tensing up slightly at the realization of what was about to happen. Kame noticed.

“Shhh” Kame breathed, kissing my neck gently, making me shiver at the soft touch. One of his hands traveled back to my erection, stroking it. I moaned softly, and relaxed slightly.

At that, Kame finally entered me, gently and slow, but it still hurt. I grabbed the kitchen table for support, needing to release those feelings somewhere. Kame hugged me closer when he was completely inside of me, drawing circles on the skin of my stomach. “I’m sorry” he whispered, out of breath. Of course he would notice my discomfort.

He waited for a moment, letting me get accustomed to the feeling of him inside of me, and it helped a little.

“Move” I whispered, his slow hand on my errection driving me insane. I needed more. I longed for release.

Kame obliged, beginning to pull out slightly before pushing back into me, slowly. It took a few tries, but then, he found this spot inside of me again, and I moaned out, not knowing how to deal with the feeling. I had never known that I was able to feel so much pleasure.

Kame seemed encouraged by the tone of my voice and sped his movements up, each of his thrusts hitting this one spot, and I couldn’t think anymore. Kame’s hands were still moving on my erection, and the feeling of him inside of me – it was too much. Way too much.

The tension built and built until there was no return anymore, and I burst, moaning as I came into Kame’s hand. My whole body was shaking as I rode through my orgasm, and it pushed Kame over the edge too, and he followed me down the cliff.

When I came down from my high, Kame was leaning against me, his head resting against my shoulder blades. We were panting.

“Kame” I whispered, afraid that I would break the magic if I spoke any louder. “What _was_ that?!”

“I don’t know” Kame murmured, still out of breath. “But _damn,_ it was awesome…”

“It was” I nodded, smiling slightly in response.

When we had calmed down enough to move, Kame pulled away from me, reaching for his clothes. I had barely enough energy to put my underwear back on before sliding down to the floor, resting there for a moment.

Kame looked at me and let his pants drop to the floor again before sitting down next to me.

“Are you alright?” he asked quietly.

I nodded, leaning over to him to rest my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes. I heard Kame chuckle, and his fingers ran through my sweaty hair. I smiled before moving to lay my head in his lap, giving him better access to stroke my hair.

“Do you still hate me?” I whispered after a while, not moving to look up, feeling way too comfortable.

It took Kame a while before he answered.

“No” he finally said. “I never hated you, no matter what happened. I just wished that I did.” I felt his fingers stroke the over the bruises on my cheek softly. “I’m still not gonna apologize for that, though” he informed me, his voice teasing now. “You deserved it.”

“I guess” I chuckled, lying on my back to look up into his eyes.

There it was again: This warm, bright smile that I had missed so much. I felt it warm my whole being, and I was glad that I was here, alive, with him.

The clicking of the door interrupted my bliss. Kame and I looked at each other in shock, only now remembering that we were indeed in _Pi’s_ flat. We jumped up, eager to put our pants back on as fast as possible, but we were not fast enough – before we knew it, first Pi, then Koki, and behind them Ueda, Nakamaru and Taguchi arrived in the kitchen, freezing in their moves when they spotted us. I froze in shock, as well as Kame, his hands still on the zipper of his jeans, not pulled up yet.

It would have been funny, from an outsider’s point of view. The look in Pi’s eyes would have been enough to crack me up in my darkest hours, and the incredulous looks from the others were no better. Apparently, they had expected everything but _this_.

Well, not that I had.

Nakamaru was the first one who spoke.

“We don’t want to know what we interrupted you in, do we?” he asked slowly, looking as if he was not sure if he should be alarmed or happy about the new developments.

“It’s obvious what they did, isn’t it?!” Taguchi responded, his voice higher than usual. “They-“ Ueda hit him on the back of his head, and he shut up.

I looked to Kame, who was biting his lip to keep from grinning from the embarrassment, discreetly pulling up his zipper before reaching for his T-Shirt on the floor.

“I don’t believe it” Pi murmured. “I should have included this when I told you to be careful with my furniture. I don’t think I can cook in this kitchen ever again!”

“Sorry” I murmured sheepishly, beginning to dress myself as well.

“But in _my kitchen_ ” he murmured, his voice high. “I mean, I’m glad you found your hidden gay side and everything – but _my kitchen_ …”

Koki suppressed a laugh at Pi’s words, patting his shoulder.

“You can crash at my place tonight, if you want to” he offered.

“Thanks” he murmured. “I don’t think I can – this really freaks me out…”

“So…” Ueda said slowly, smiling slightly at the ridiculousness of the situation. “I guess that means we are friends with Akanishi again?” he looked at Kame for an answer.

“I don’t know” Kame shrugged, grinning at my shocked expression. “That’s up to you to decide.”

“Well, as long as he keeps jumping Kame’s bones and not ours” Taguchi joked, and Kame laughed when I glared at him.

“This whole thing is so absurd that I can’t even be mad at Akanishi any longer” Koki murmured, shaking his head.

“Sorry?” Kame chuckled, seeming highly amused by the situation, now that he overcame his embarrassment.

Koki shook his head incredulous before patting Pi’s shoulder once more.

“Come on, let’s get you out of here” he told him, and Pi nodded, still looking shell-shocked, letting Koki lead him outside. I swear I heard him murmur: “But _my kitchen_ …”

The others followed them reluctantly, throwing a teasing word or two at us before leaving us alone in Pi’s oh-so-loved kitchen again. I looked at Kame in embarrassment.

“Well” he said, smirking. “They took it well, didn’t they?”

If looks could kill, Kame would have been dead on the floor, and not laughing his ass off at my expression, I swear.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted: http://vflmaeuschen.livejournal.com/32410.html  
> http://vflmaeuschen.livejournal.com/32686.html  
> http://vflmaeuschen.livejournal.com/32886.html  
> http://vflmaeuschen.livejournal.com/33251.html  
> http://vflmaeuschen.blog.com/2011/08/23/one-shot-to-make-them/


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